Implants
by Yazzy
Summary: My excuse for Bryan being a meanie in the anime is that he has implants in his brain. This is just a little fic about him getting rid of those implants and finally feeling proper emotions. Yaoi, TalaBryan


Canon Bryan is a meanie. My excuse for this is that he has emotion inhibiting implants in his brain- this fic is about him getting those implants taken out.

* * *

Bryan didn't really know what to say when Tala crept into bed beside him one night. Considering that this didn't seem to be something he hated, he let it slide, and allowed Tala to settle himself up against him, one arm over his chest. He could hear Tala sniffling. "Are you crying?"

"N...no..."

"You are." Bryan looked down at him. "Why?"

"Boris..." Bryan laid back. One word, and yet it qualified as an explanation for -anyone's- misery in the abbey.

Before long Bryan was asleep, leaving Tala to cry alone in the darkness.

* * *

"Why do you keep coming into my bed?" He asked after a few nights.

"Boris won't fix my radiator and it's cold in my room...besides, you're not objecting, are you?" Bryan shrugged and rolled over slightly to accomodate Tala's clinging arms. Over the days Tala had gotten closer and closer to him, until that night he was practically on top of him. Bryan often wondered why exactly Tala chose to come to -his- bed, when he could easily go to Spencer or Ian- they were closer, and they didn't qualify everything into things they hated, things that made them angry, and things that didn't really bother them.

* * *

A couple of days after that, the bruises started. Tala always slept shirtless, and so it was glaringly obvious when he came in one night with a large bruise on one of his arms. "What happened?"

"What? Oh..." Tala slipped under the covers with him and snuggled up close. "Boris said I wasn't working hard enough..."

"You always work hard enough." Bryan found a slight hint of anger edging his words.

"Boris doesn't think so..."

"What does he know!"

"Shh. Someone'll hear..." Bryan fell silent, shifting closer to Tala and touching the bruise gently. Tala winced.

"I hate him." Said Bryan coldly.

"We all do."

* * *

But of course, it got worse. One night when Tala came in, Bryan could see a bruise on his back, a large, purplish one that disappeared under the waistband of his trousers. Bryan turned him over and tugged them down. "What did he do?"

"You know those massive size fourteen boots he wears? Yeah...well..." Bryan's fingers traced the outline of the bruise and then pressed into it. Tala hissed in pain. "Don't! Don't do that..."

"Aren't you angry about it? Don't you want to get him back for what he's done!" Tala shushed him, glancing nervously at the door.

"I am...I do...but there isn't anything I -can- do...at least there's a tournament next week...I can lock the door then..."

"Why is it always you? Why is it never me, or Spencer?"

"Jealous?"

"Don't be stupid. Answer the question."

"Because he knows he can hurt me...because I'm smaller than him. And..." Tala looked away. "He knows you would never scream, no matter how hard he hit you. Every time he does it...and I hear myself screaming...I just think 'you're weak, Tala...you gave him the satisfaction again...'"

* * *

When the tournament came around, Tala and Bryan ended up sharing a room. Bryan had dozed off one night, half awake and half asleep. He felt Tala slip into bed beside him and moved a little so that the redhead could get comfortable. He felt Tala settle himself along his side as usual, then felt him move further over, until he was actually laying over Bryan. His fingers traced over Bryan's skin and he sighed. Bryan peeked out from under his eyelids, and saw that Tala had his eyes closed.

"You're killing me Bryan." Another sigh, while Bryan tried to figure out what Tala meant. "You keep asking me why I don't hate things so much, and it's because all the hate I have goes into hating what they've done to you. If I told you right now how I feel, you would either be angry, or not bothered. And that hurts when I love you so much..." Bryan stirred fakely and rolled over, pinning Tala half beneath himself. Tala gasped slightly and tried to pull away, but Bryan laid an arm across him, keeping him close. He didn't really know why he did...it just seemed right.

"But you only ever hold me when you're sleeping...because you aren't capable of loving me back...it's not fair..."

"I'm awake, actually."

"Bryan-!" Tala whispered. Bryan opened his eyes and looked down at the redhead, who was currently staring at him disbelievingly.

"But you're right..."

"No..."

"Am I supposed to feel anything? I...just don't...you're right...I'm not capable of loving you back..."

"No...Bryan..."

But Bryan was already asleep. Tala sobbed quietly to himself and burrowed himself up beside Bryan, as close as he could get to the source of both his misery and his joy.

* * *

Even after that, Tala still came to Bryan every night. Sometimes Bryan wondered how he would feel if he were indeed capable of having emotions...wondered exactly what Tala meant to him...and if he could ever love the warm body that nestled itself close to him so faithfully every night.

His answer came to him partly when Tala didn't come one night. He found himself...in a way...missing him...missing his warmth, missing his arms that draped so comfortingly across Bryan's body, missing his soft breath that played over Bryan's neck as he watched him if he was ever unable to sleep. He got up and walked to the door, then hesitated. This was ridiculous. If he was caught, he would be punished. It was stupid. 'But Tala does it every night...' Whispered a foreign, odd voice in the back of his mind. 'Tala does it all the time, and he does it because he loves you. You know he does, you cold hearted idiot...'

Bryan shook his head and walked out into the corridor. Tala's room was three up...and two along, around the corner. He glanced around nervously and went in to find Tala lying on his bed, eyes half open, jaw slack, brightly, fircely red. He was muttering and Bryan could tell instantly that he had a fever. He went to the door to call for help, but...if he was caught...but...'He needs your help...' Rang the voice in his mind. 'Help him you twit!'

"Help! Someone! Tala's ill!" He called. Immediately, two guards came rushing. They lifted Tala as if he weighed nothing and ran with him. Bryan stood there watching their fading silhouettes and then went back to his own room. 'You should have gone with him...' Persisted the voice in his mind. Bryan ignored it and rolled onto his side, trying to sleep. 'You should have gone with him.' It insisted.

"I know..." Bryan said. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I know..."

When he woke up in the morning, it was strange to feel the emptiness of the bed...without Tala it seemed...not right somehow. After training, during which Bryan still couldn't get rid of the voice in his mind, he went to see Tala. He was lying in a bed in the infirmary, looking miserable and ill. "How are you?"

"Nn."

"You look better than you did last night..." Bryan attempted, making a desperate leap to catch the end of the conversation and drag it back.

"Last night?"

"You..." Bryan felt suddenly stupid. "You didn't come...so I went to see why...and I called for help when I found you there."

"You missed me?"

"I...maybe. I don't know. There was just a voice in my head telling me to go and find you..." Bryan said coolly, trying to cover up his embarrassment with coldness. Tala smiled.

"Maybe it was your conscience, Bryan."

* * *

And so Bryan dubbed the voice 'conscience'. For months afterward, he would find the voice making him do things, things he would never have thought of by himself, but when told them, found them to be...well, good ideas. He wondered for a while if he was perhaps schizophrenic, but whatever it was, it didn't do him any harm- the little voice never told him to burn things or kill people. No, what it did was tell him how to make Tala happy.

At first he was surprised how much he could make Tala smile by just touching him- a hand on his shoulder, a pat of his back, arms around his waist. Bryan could tell it made Tala more happy than he ever said, but he couldn't understand it. He still didn't feel anything for Tala. He didn't hate him, he wasn't angered by him...he just felt nothing.

* * *

"Bryan? Are you okay? You're not...scared or anything?"

"No."

"So...they're taking out your implants?"

"Yes." 'Smile you idiot!' He smiled a little. 'Thank him for coming to see you!' "Thank you...for coming to see me..."

"It's no problem. I don't have anyone breathing down my neck any more!"

"You were glad to leave, weren't you?"

"You even have to ask?" Tala sat on the bed beside him and bounced slightly, laying a hand over Bryan's and squeezing. "Will it be strange being able to feel things again?"

"It'll be...interesting..." Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to find out if he loved Tala. He knew exactly how his implants affected him- they limited what impulses were transmitted in his brain. For all Bryan knew he could have loved Tala for years, but he would never have known.

A nurse came to give him his anaesthetic, and Tala stood up, kissed him on the cheek, and walked out. Bryan watched him, wondering what exactly this surgery would unlock, and whether or not he'd be able to deal with it.

* * *

Tala sat next to Bryan's bed, waiting for him to wake up. After a while, he was rewarded. Bryan's eyes flickered and opened. "Bryan?" That voice...Tala's voice...it was...

"Beautiful..."

"What?"

"Your voice..." Bryan looked up into Tala's face and felt his chest go tight. "Tala..." He tried to sit up and found himself swaying, dizzily. Tala reached out and supported him, coming to sit on the bed beside him. Bryan felt the touch and sighed happily. "Tala..." He felt himself falling sideways but Tala held him up. "Bryan, are you o-" Bryan grabbed him and crushed Tala's lips against his own. Tala gave a muffled moan and held him tighter, deepening the kiss until they were both forced to break apart, lack of air making them pant. "I love you." Said Bryan. "I love you so much it...it feels so strange...I'm...happy... I never thought I would be able to feel anything for you...but...oh..." Bryan kissed him again, over and over, delighting at Tala's touch, at the feel of his skin, of his scent, all things he had noticed before but never felt any pleasure about. But now...it was driving him wild. "Tala..."

"Oh Bryan..." Tala was suddenly crying, and Bryan took him into his arms. Then he suddenly realised what the voice had been. It had been himself. Himself, telling its supressed self what to do...how to love...but now he didn't need the voice- it was part of him anyway but aside from that...he knew how to love. "I know how to love...Tala...I love you..."

"Really?"

"Yes." Bryan kissed him again and held him tighter. "I love you...I love you and I'm never going to let you go..."

"Good. Because I don't want you to." Tala shifted onto Bryan's lap and hugged him. It was strange, Bryan thought. Before, Tala could have done things like that and he would have just sat there, unreactive, but now...Tala' was nestling himself between Bryan's legs, and it was all going straight to Bryan's crotch. He gave a panting gasp and kissed Tala again, hands exploring his body.

"Uh...Bryan? Tala?" Bryan heard Spencer's puzzled voice and broke away from Tala, laughing. It was such a strange feeling. He took one hand off Tala's waist and touched his throat. "I...laughed..." He laughed again and nuzzled his face into Tala's hair.

"Bryan?"

"What?"

"Are you...okay?"

"I'm fine! I'm...I'm better than fine...this is so amazing..." Spencer smiled and nodded while Tala snuggled up closer to him.

"Ian said he's sorry he didn't come to see you, but his girlfriend's making him meet her parents."

Bryan felt a tiny tug of sadness and frowned. "Sadness..." He smiled again. "Tala, I can -feel- again!" Tala kissed his nose and hugged him, sprawled over him possessively as Bryan wound his arms around the redhead's waist tightly. Spencer cleared his throat and smiled. "I'll...see you when you get home, Bryan."

"Bye."

Spencer shut the door behind himself, leaving Tala and Bryan alone in the room. Tala kissed Bryan's neck and collarbone, making him shiver. "Tala..."

"Yeah?"

"Can we...I mean...you know..."

"No. I don't know. You'll have to tell me..." Said Tala, pretending. He turned so that he was sitting on Bryan, backside pressed firmly into Bryan's crotch. Bryan gasped and clutched at him. "Tala...I..." Tala shifted slightly and Bryan felt his trousers become several sizes smaller. "Tala...oh God...Tala...I've never felt like this before...I...I desire you..."

"Oh?" Tala leaned back against Bryan's and trailed a finger across his lips. "Now you know how hard it is..." He sighed. "You don't know how much I want to...but you're in hospital, Bryan. And I'm not going to do anything with you until I'm sure it won't hurt you." He stretched his head back and kissed Bryan gently. Bryan burrowed his face into Tala's neck, frustrated.

"Tala..."

"No. Pervert." He settled himself down beside Bryan as he usually did, and Bryan frowned.

"I'm not a pervert..."

"Yes you are." Tala said, smiling. He dug himself into Bryan's embrace and closed his eyes. Bryan held him tightly, arms forming a protective loop around Tala's slim waist. And it was slim. "Tala, do you eat at all?"

"What sort of a question is that?"

"You're so thin...I think I'm worried about you..."

"Bryan, I do so eat! I just do a lot of exercise!"

"Really?"

"Really. You know, it's nice having you care about me. I always thought that if I stayed with you and loved you, eventually you'd...come to love me too. And now you do." Tala rubbed his cheek against Bryan's chest. "I love you Bryan."

"I love you too." He hesitated. "Tala...if you knew it wouldn't hurt me...-would- you sleep with me?"

"Yes." Tala replied without hesitation.

Bryan snuggled down with him, pulling Tala under the blankets and holding him close. His hands rested gently on Tala's back, then he pulled him closer and the hands stretched round to his sides. "Tala...I'm going to have to stop you from doing any exercise when we go home..."

"Sex burns calories Bryan."

"Oh. Well...maybe not -all- exercise..."

"Pervert."

This time Bryan didn't deny it, only smirked and kissed Tala on the cheek. There would be a chance for him to exact revenge when they got home, and until then, lying with Tala in his arms was a pretty good substitute for lying with Tala between his legs...

fin

* * *

R&R please! I want to know what you guys think! 


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